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Fact is, your hand belongs on your arm, so no one is ever suspicious when you have it. But with only a little effort, you're doing your taxes, you're eating pudding, you're braiding your hair, whatever. Have you smelled deli ham lately? Then rub it aggressively on your crotch for a few minutes. But the Fleshlight in hand makes it a bit more like mixing a never-ending martini that you can't drink -- and instead of an olive, you're garnishing it with man nectar that you need to hose out the end of a length of flopping, disembodied, pseudo-vaginal canal. And see their greatest breakthrough yet: Masturbation Cream.

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So with that in mind, I have decided to put my very body on the line to help you , fellow jackers, determine just what is the best method of wanking.

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But with only a little effort, you're doing your taxes, you're eating pudding, you're braiding your hair, whatever. The clear upside of the Autoblow is that it finally takes masturbation out of your hands. The basic goal of a Fleshlight was to make a vagina into a handheld device; an idea that will get exponentially creepier the more time you devote to thinking about it. You'll probably need to balance it between your thighs a little, or wedge it slightly between yourself and a pillow.

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